My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
either way he was missing a nipple.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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