i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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