AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
