i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Everclear isn't food dammit
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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