Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
