I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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