It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
