Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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