i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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