Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
