I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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