dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
