Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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