I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
