How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
