The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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