Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
