At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
