I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
