do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
