Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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