every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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