Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
