I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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