The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
