4 words: hood of his car
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
