Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
