Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
