hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
