i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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