it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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