i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
