I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
