They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
worst night to have a conscience
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
