oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
