Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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