I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
