can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I was not drunk enough for that final.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
