Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
