genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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