Sry I called you an 8
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
