literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
