Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
