some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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