thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
