My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
