Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
