What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
