her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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