took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
smell my finger.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
