oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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